Archive Page 3 of 11



A Quick Comment on Comments!

Last night I upgraded my blogging software to the latest version. The process somehow restored functionality to the Guppie Life Comments feed, which had not been working for some time. (Oops.)

If you’d like, consider subscribing to the comments feed. It’ll keep you up-to-date on the conversations that happen in behind-the-scenes in the comments section.

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Popularity: 40% [?]

toughstuff on Professionalization

Toughstuff from Below the Belt shared today some insight on the process of evolving as a gay professional.

College was a time when I spent a great deal of effort on coming to terms with my sexuality and learning how to negotiate this new “self” with my old and new networks—friends, family, peers, etc. Graduating and finding a great first job was, for me, my way of proving to myself and to the world that even though I was a wishy-washy liberal and activist… I could do just as well as people who had not gone through what I did and probably majored in something more practical like business.

There are moments now, as I’m becoming comfortable in the workplace and confident in my ability to do work, when I realize I’ve become “a professional.” When someone calls for me on the phone I reflexively act happy and excited to hear from them, and grateful for the good work they’ve brought to the table. When I sit in a meeting, I always bring a notepad and pen and I try to anticipate questions about anything that might be brought up during the meeting. I offer to help with others’ projects I may not have anything to do with. I am outgoing at work, I always ask how people are doing, how their weekends were, what they’re doing for the holiday. My work identity has, in many ways, been institutionalized—and it’s crazy because those who knew me a few years ago knew me as a very shy, almost socially defunct kind of guy. In some ways I kind of like this new personality I can turn on. I feel that it has helped me to be more successful at work.

Though he writes through the lens of his own sexuality, I think most of us go through this struggle before getting to that Aha! I can do this! moment. Being gay adds another layer of ‘Other-ness‘ to the experience.

Read Toughstuff’s full post at Below the Belt

Popularity: 14% [?]

Further Misadventures in Used Car Buying

BMW Z4 Roadster
A few weeks ago, I faced a minor disappointment when a used car I wanted to buy was sold two hours before my appointment to test drive it. I was pretty bummed about it, because it was a pretty hot deal for an 2004 BMW 325i, but I tried to make it into a learning experience. Next time, I said to myself, I’ll move faster. I won’t miss out on another deal.

Then, I found it: a low mileage 2004 BMW Z4 with the upgraded 3.0 L engine and all of the options for thousands less than Kelley Blue Book Value. I immediately emailed to set up an appointment. The owner was going out of town, so I had to wait a week, but during that week I emailed a few questions in order to let him know that I was interested. We finally made an appointment for Wednesday, so on Tuesday I applied for a used car loan through my father’s credit union. I really wanted that car.

Then on Wednesday afternoon, I received a call around lunchtime from the owner of the Z4. Another party was driving up from Richmond to see the car and would arrive hours before me. And they had cash.

Of course, the owner sold it to the party from Richmond. He offered a half-hearted email apology: “Sorry man. They got here first. They had cash.”

Once again, I had been out-maneuvered.

On the upside, I called the credit union and it turns out I can keep my loan pre-approval status for 2 months. They were able to remove the references to the Z4, so it’s not even tied to a specific car.

They offered 7.7% APR over 48 months, which is decent but not an amazing deal. When I called, I protested that I have a great credit score, but the loan officer called it a “false high” and said that I had never had a loan before, only low-balance credit card debt, so she couldn’t offer me the lowest rate.

Next time I find a scorching deal on a used car, I might have to take off of work. In my book, taking a half-day is worth saving a few thousand on my dream car. Plus it helps that my boss is a ‘car guy,’ although he (and my father!) would rather see me get an early-2000s Porsche Boxster.

Popularity: 15% [?]

In Which the Work-Life / Personal-Life Boundary is Crossed

Yesterday at work I overheard my boss telling a coworker that he found a great deal on a large-capacity external hard drive.

I popped my head into his office and asked where he got it, because I’m in the market for a new one. I recently upgraded to the newest version of the Mac operating system called OS X Leopard. It has an automatic file-backup feature, but in order to use it I need a new ‘Mac-formatted’ external hard drive.

I explained this to my boss, but he said I didn’t need to buy a new hard drive. I could take my old one to work, empty its contents onto my work computer, then re-format the old hard drive and put the files back on it.

I thanked my boss for the suggestion, but just as I turned to leave, a coworker asked, “Wow, 300 gigs? What do you keep on that thing, anyway?”

I turned bright red and stuttered for a second, as I’m prone to do when embarrassed. I mumbled something about TV shows and walked out as quickly as I could.

It’s safe to say I won’t ever bring the hard drive to work.

Popularity: 15% [?]

Update: Closing an Account with Citibank

Last month I wrote that I was having trouble closing my Citibank online savings account.

I eventually sent an email to customer service, although when I had to choose a pre-written email subject, “Close My Account” wasn’t an option, naturally. A day or so later they emailed me back to say that the process was in motion.

And a few days after that I received a check with the remainder of my account balance in the mail.

For 8 cents. Holla.

Popularity: 14% [?]

How I Survived My Job Probation and Performance Review

As my readers from way-back-when will remember, I quit my first post-college job doing internet ad operations and found one in web development that makes me much happier. (I had meant to write about the new job, but I was afraid of jinxing it.)

Four months and one glowing performance review later, I can safely say the new job is going well.

But it didn’t look like smooth sailing four and a half months ago. I had received the offer from my current employer, and I had even negotiated a higher starting salary. The counter-offer was much better than the initial offer, but it still wasn’t quite what I was making whoring my soul doing online advertising. (OK, so actually if you factor in the 401k, better health insurance and saner hours, it probably did match my old job, but I love cold, hard cash.)

What’s a boy to do in such a sticky situation? I really wanted to take the job, but I didn’t want to take a pay cut. The boss really wanted to hire me, but was nervous about hiring a millennial employee for what he considered an experienced-hire position. And of course he didn’t want to waste cash on me if I couldn’t handle the rigors of the position.

The compromise
I agreed to be placed on job probation, for lack of a better word. The boss agreed to grant me an early performance review after four or five months. Assuming things went well, I would receive a raise and increased responsibility. If things weren’t going well… well, we never discussed that, but I doubt it would have led to sunshine and puppies.

The result
My performance review was scheduled for two weeks ago. Unfortunately, the boss had to fly out of town for a week to meet a client. The next week I didn’t want to mention my review because I hadn’t hit my target number of billable hours, and even though I wasn’t in trouble, it didn’t seem like the most auspicious time.

But my boss caught me off guard. Walking down the hallway, he saw me working late on a project (because we millennials have strange schedules) and he sprung the review on me!

Of course, I had been obsessing about the review for weeks. I had already come up with some answers to some pretty standard performance review questions:

  • What do you think you’re doing best in this position?
  • What do you need to work on?
  • What’s your favorite thing about your position?
  • What’s your least favorite aspect about your position?
  • How do you think you can grow in the company?
  • Can you think of anything the company needs to do to help you grow into your position?

Before I knew it, the performance review was over. It was way easier than I had imagined, and I was pleased with the feedback from my boss. But I was even more pleased with the salary bump!

Final Thoughts
Would I recommend this ‘probation’ strategy? It depends.

It worked for me. It worked out for my employer. But it might not work for you. I tried to assume the worst and hoped for the best. If the raise never materialized, I would have felt disappointed, but the starting salary wasn’t so low that I’d be destitute. I knew I could survive on the lower salary and I felt pretty confident that I could perform well enough to earn a salary bump.

I know this sounds a lot like paying your dues, an unpopular topic with millennials. Paying dues is about being the bottom of the totem pole simply because you’re the new guy—probation is also for unproven employees, but it’s based on merit, not on the amount of time you’ve been working.

I viewed the probation as a calculated risk. Besides, it was only for a few months and I had the performance review promised to me in writing. (Always get it in writing!)

Would I have put up with that for a whole year? Doubtful. I’m too impatient, and I don’t think it takes a whole year to demonstrate that you can do your job well. But I get the sense from talking to my cohorts that an unofficial six month probation isn’t uncommon for Gen Y-ers. It might not be called a ‘probation’ per se, but the same prove-your-mettle attitude applies.

What are your experiences with paying dues and proving your merit? Would you ever agree to job and/or salary probation?

Popularity: 16% [?]

Are SUVs Evil?

As you might remember, I’m shopping around for a new (used) car.

One thing I’ve noticed is that SUVs are ridiculously cheap right now. Much cheaper than the subcompact models I had been considering.

Now, I’m not especially attracted to SUVs and I don’t often haul stuff around, but let me play devil’s advocate: I’ve run the numbers, and with the low amount of miles I drive, I’d come out financially a couple grand ahead with an SUV vs. a more expensive compact car after two years (even assuming $5/gal gas).

It seems like SUVs are selling for less than they’re worth right now because everyone’s gone crazy over gas prices. Everyone wants a Prius or a Civic.

Should I consider bucking the trend in order to save some money? Do we really think gas prices are going to remain this high?

When the rest of the country zigs, should you zag?

Popularity: 14% [?]

Life Lessons from Tim Gill: Entrepreneur, Millionaire Philanthropist and GLBT Activist

Moreso than Hollywood names like Anderson Cooper or Ellen DeGeneres, Tim Gill is a role model for gay millennials.

In 1981 with a $2,000 loan from his parents, Tim founded Quark, the company responsible for QuarkXPress, a piece of software that revolutionized the publishing industry. (Seriously, ask around. It’s a big deal.)

Though Tim parted ways with Quark in 2000, he’s still keeps himself plenty busy as a full-time philanthropist and activist. His charitable endeavors include the Gill Foundation, which has given over $120 million to GLBT-friendly nonprofits, and also the newer Gill Action Fund, which is dedicated to funding pro-GLBT political change.

It’s no wonder then that Tim was chosen by Out Magazine as the 5th most powerful gay person in North America.

Actually, Tim’s so powerful that he frightens conservative wing-nuts like Pat Robertson, who fear that he’s just too good at advancing GLBT causes.

A few weeks ago I got in touch with Tim and asked if he’d be willing to do an interview for the Guppie Life readers. He graciously agreed to share some of the secrets of his success.

AJ: You created Quark when you were only about 27 years old. Becoming an entrepreneur at any age takes a lot of guts. How did you find the courage?
TG: It wasn’t a matter of courage. I was let go from a job at a very small company. Basically they’d run out of money and it was either lay me off or one of the board of directors.

Two startup companies I’d worked for before that had also gone out of business. So I just decided that if I worked for myself then I’d never lay myself off. And it worked!

AJ: You also created Connexion.org, a free social networking site for LGBT people. Why do you think LGBT people need their own spaces on the internet? Do you foresee a time when there won’t be a need for LGBT niche networks?
TG: Niche spaces will always be around for the same reasons there are niche magazines, niche bars and even niche social clubs. Heck, I even founded a niche club for gay snowboarders! It’s just more efficient to congregate with a group of people that share a common interest – whether it’s how you choose to ride the mountain or whom you want to date!

The wonderful thing about the internet is that since it doesn’t have geographic limitations, you can make spaces for niches that are so small that they’d never survive in any other way.

AJ: Which do you think is the biggest issue facing young gays today? Marriage rights? The lack of federal protections for sexual orientation? Or is there another? How about Generation Y as a whole (straight & gay, etc)?
TG: The biggest issue for young gays is certainly not marriage! If you’re in a rural area, it’s more about how to meet people and how to come out – if you can even come out. If you’re out, single and live in an urban area, it’s probably more how to deal with the drama of the people you meet! :)

Discrimination is a potential issue for everyone. Relationship issues and family issues typically don’t become important until later.

AJ: If you could re-do your professional life, what would you do differently?
TG: Almost nothing. I’ve been very lucky and you never know what might change if you tinker with the past! I cherish both my successes and my failures. And, on balance I think I’ve learned more from my failures than from my successes.

Thanks Tim for your time and insight. Keep in touch!

Popularity: 15% [?]

Word of the Day: FUBAR

Yesterday my boss taught me a new word: FUBAR.

Luckily he wasn’t talking about my work.

Popularity: 13% [?]

oh hai, i’m in ur klub netwerkin with ur colleegs

A quick shout-out to Mrs. Micah, who accompanied me last night to a networking slash guest lecture event for internet professionals. It was a blast, you know, for web nerd types like us.

During the event, Mrs. Micah overheard that one of the event attendees held a cool job she wanted to learn about. I was impressed how she marched right up to him and held his rapt attention. I wish I was as confident talking to strangers!

Afterward, I bounced over to Solly’s in D.C. for The New Gay’s Pride Recovery Party. It was pretty chill.

The New Gay blog is awesome. It blows my mind that some friends blogging about gay culture in D.C. have started a completely new social scene. Incredible.

All in all, Thursday was a great night for networking, both socially and professionally.

Thanks to Mrs. Micah and to the attractive gay guys who made last night possible! It wouldn’t have been the same without you.

Popularity: 14% [?]