Yesterday my boss taught me a new word: FUBAR.
Luckily he wasn’t talking about my work.
Archive Page 2 of 9
A quick shout-out to Mrs. Micah, who accompanied me last night to a networking slash guest lecture event for internet professionals. It was a blast, you know, for web nerd types like us.
During the event, Mrs. Micah overheard that one of the event attendees held a cool job she wanted to learn about. I was impressed how she marched right up to him and held his rapt attention. I wish I was as confident talking to strangers!
Afterward, I bounced over to Solly’s in D.C. for The New Gay’s Pride Recovery Party. It was pretty chill.
The New Gay blog is awesome. It blows my mind that some friends blogging about gay culture in D.C. have started a completely new social scene. Incredible.
All in all, Thursday was a great night for networking, both socially and professionally.
Thanks to Mrs. Micah and to the attractive gay guys who made last night possible! It wouldn’t have been the same without you.
June is certainly the gayest month yet in 2008!
- Last weekend was D.C. Capital Pride. I didn’t go (and have never been) but I heard it was a fun weekend.
- Gay people got married in California this week, some of them for the second time. (Congratulations to Sam and Bronson! Do those two travel with their own personal lighting crew or what?)
- The L.A. Times wrote about research on gay brains, and it caused quite a stir.
The area of the brain that processes emotions also looked much the same in gay men and straight women — and both groups have higher rates of depressive disorders than heterosexual men, researchers said.
…
Vilain said his hunch was that the entire brain was not feminized because “gay men have a number of masculine traits that are not present in women.” For example, he said, men regardless of sexual orientation tend to be interested in casual sex and are stimulated by sexually suggestive images.
So, gay men sleep around, but then we feel really bad about it afterward? … Actually that sounds about right.
- More discussion of gay brains at the Broken Cupid blog.
- Slate magazine took the gay brains idea a step further. If sexual orientation is caused by chemistry, people are going to want to change that chemistry. Do parents have a right to give their children vaccinations against being gay?
If the idea of chemically suppressing homosexuality in the womb horrifies you, I have bad news: You won’t be in the room when it happens. Parents control medical decisions, and surveys indicate that the vast majority of them would be upset to learn that their child was gay. Already, millions are screening embryos and fetuses to eliminate those of the “wrong” sex. Do you think they won’t screen for the “wrong” sexual orientation, too?
Liberals are slow to see what’s coming. They’re still fighting the culture war. The Toronto Star, like other papers, finds a neuroscientist who thinks the new study “should erode the moral judgments often made against homosexual preferences and rebut any argument that it is a mere a lifestyle choice.” Well, yes. But then what? The reduction of homosexuality to neurobiology doesn’t mean your sexual orientation can’t be controlled. It just means the person controlling it won’t be you.
- Gallup released data from a new poll that says Americans are evenly split amongst those who think gay sex is morally acceptable and those who are in denial about how utterly hot it is.
- Chris Ford of The Generation Y Conservative blog, a fellow member of the Brazen Careerist Network, shared his very special thoughts on gay marriage. It caused quite the controversy. Over 75 comments so far! My advice to people who oppose gay marriage: Don’t get one.
I’m trying to close my Citibank online savings account in favor of my newer and easier-to-use ING Direct account.
Citibank seems to think they can prevent customers from closing their accounts by ignoring the issue. I can’t find a single help article mentioning the account closure process, and it’s not in their FAQs. In the end, I had to send an email.
In the web world, we call this “poor user experience.”
WTF mate?
A recent New York Times article suggests yes, maybe straight couples do have something to learn from their same-sex counterparts:
A growing body of evidence shows that same-sex couples have a great deal to teach everyone else about marriage and relationships. Most studies show surprisingly few differences between committed gay couples and committed straight couples, but the differences that do emerge have shed light on the kinds of conflicts that can endanger heterosexual relationships.
The findings offer hope that some of the most vexing problems are not necessarily entrenched in deep-rooted biological differences between men and women. And that, in turn, offers hope that the problems can be solved.
…
Notably, same-sex relationships, whether between men or women, were far more egalitarian than heterosexual ones. In heterosexual couples, women did far more of the housework; men were more likely to have the financial responsibility; and men were more likely to initiate sex, while women were more likely to refuse it or to start a conversation about problems in the relationship. With same-sex couples, of course, none of these dichotomies were possible, and the partners tended to share the burdens far more equally.
While the gay and lesbian couples had about the same rate of conflict as the heterosexual ones, they appeared to have more relationship satisfaction, suggesting that the inequality of opposite-sex relationships can take a toll.
…
One well-known study used mathematical modeling to decipher the interactions between committed gay couples. The results, published in two 2003 articles in The Journal of Homosexuality, showed that when same-sex couples argued, they tended to fight more fairly than heterosexual couples, making fewer verbal attacks and more of an effort to defuse the confrontation.
Controlling and hostile emotional tactics, like belligerence and domineering, were less common among gay couples.
Same-sex couples were also less likely to develop an elevated heartbeat and adrenaline surges during arguments. And straight couples were more likely to stay physically agitated after a conflict…
Huh. Maybe my parents wouldn’t have divorced if they were lesbians.
Wouldn’t that rock? I kinda wish my parents were gay.
From The Onion, America’s Finest News Source:
HARTFORD, CT—The Connecticut Supreme Court on Monday upheld the right of individuals, regardless of sexual orientation, to engage in any number of “grandiose behaviors,” including, but not limited to, sashaying across the room “like a hussy, yelling ‘Oh my God!’ at the top of their lungs while hopping up and down, and generally acting like Miss Thing.”
…
The ruling, which effectively affirms the right of all attention whores to make a complete spectacle of themselves, is already being contested by conservative groups and is expected to be appealed.
It’s time for a new car. I’m still driving the same 2000 Volkswagen Jetta I bought my senior year of high school.
Back in November 2002, I paid $14,500 for Jetta in cash. I had saved the money over four years working at my part-time and summer job on the boardwalk in Ocean City, Maryland. I told my friends that the car was my Christmas, Birthday and high school graduation gift to myself, all in one.
For the first few years with Jetta, I was deliriously happy. It had a stick shift and a turbo-charged engine, which meant instant credibility with car people (even though at college I learned that the Volkswagen Jetta was the unofficial mascot of Delta Delta Delta).
It might have been a sorority girl car, but Jetta was a sweet sorority girl car. Moonroof. Indigo instrumentation panel. Premium sound system. A mysterious traction control button that I never dared to deactivate. Even the tacky “Tornado Red” paint color grew on me.
Flash forward to June 2008.
The car only has 60,000 miles (because I hardly drove in college), but it’s deteriorating due to age. In November 2007, I spent about $1,700 on rear brake rotors, an engine intake something-or-other, and a dry-rotted serpentine belt.
Now the front brakes are squeaking, the exhaust is making scary shaking noises, the moonroof has shown signs of minor demonic possession, and as of yesterday the keyless entry doesn’t work. And I’m told that the struts are shot and need to be replaced. (New struts? I thought a strut was a kind of walk?)
It occurred to me that the cost to repair the machine might be significantly more than it’s worth. After all, parts and labor for European cars doesn’t come cheap!
So, for the past few weeks I have been car shopping. Although I previously wrote about wanting to save up for a hybrid, after a little bit of research I’m not so sure. There is a still a huge price premium for hybrids here in Northern Virginia, and I think I could get more bang for my buck with something less eco-yuppie trendy.
I began looking at used BMW and Lexus listings on Craigslist, mostly as a joke.
Naturally, most of those were ridiculously out of my price range, so all I could do was shrug. The ones I could afford were all much older than Jetta and had higher miles.
But then I found it.
A 2004 BMW 325i. Silver. Moonroof. Heated leather seats. And (barely) within the 50,000 mile BMW warranty. Best of all, it was priced $2,000 below Kelly Blue Book value and Edmunds’ “True Market Value.”
I was ecstatic. I emailed the owner, and before long i had a response. No, it had not been sold yet. Yes, I could see it Friday. Scratch that. Better make it Thursday so I could arrange financing before the weekend.
All day Thursday my heart was racing. It was happening so fast, but it was finally happening! I showed the Craigslist posting to my coworkers. I bragged about how it was such a great deal, and they conspired as to how I could add weird bits of plastic to the car the make it look “cooler.” (Computer geeks detest “stock” anything. To get respect from those guys, you need to modify your stuff, whether it’s a car or a computer.)
Then at 4pm, an email from the owner: “Sorry guy. I just sold the car an hour ago. I hate doing that to you. Best of luck.”
My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach. I’ve had breakups that were easier to swallow than losing this car.
So what am I going to do? I don’t know. Now that I’ve had my dream car within reach, it’s hard difficult painful for me to go back to looking at the Honda Civic or the Toyota Camry. Sure, they’re practical, dependable cars. But they don’t get me excited. My heart doesn’t flutter thinking about a Toyota Corolla or a Honda Accord.
The BMW set the bar for my expectations, and I don’t know if I can get stomach-butterflies for anything else. How am I supposed to deal with this?
I see a few options:
- Buy an older model BMW. My target range was 2004-2005, but I could lower this to 2002-2003. I’d rather have an older performance sports sedan than a newer Asian econo-car. Of course the main concern is that the older I go, the more I’ll run into costly maintenance issues.
- Continue to drive Jetta and save money until I can afford I car I really like. And hope that Jetta doesn’t need costly repairs in the meantime.
- Increase the length of the auto loan. I was planning on a 36 month car loan, which is typical according to my research. I intend on keeping my next car for at least three years anyway. But I could also consider getting a 48 month car loan. I qualify for a low interest rate car loan through my father’s credit union, so the extra interest wouldn’t be that costly.
All of the options have drawbacks. If I wait too long to trade in my Jetta, I risk another mechanical disaster that eats into the trade-in value. If I buy a car that doesn’t make me excited, I risk buyer’s remorse. I can get buyer’s remorse to the point of being depressed… it’s very bad.
But of course if I buy a car I can’t afford, I risk having to rely on my emergency fund more than I’d like.
My head is spinning. I hate myself for being the kind of person who obsesses about which entry-level luxury car to buy when there are so many other more important things in life.
But at the same time, I lust for a BMW 3-series.
How do I reconcile my greedy reptilian brain that says, “I want! I want! I want!” and my higher-level consciousness that tells me, “Be reasonable. Be practical. Be boring.”
A recent article from U.S. News & World Report asks “Is $1 Million Enough to Retire On?”
The short answer: Maybe. But probably not for spoiled consumerist whores like yours truly.
This depressing news comes on the day I became eligible to begin 401(k) contributions.
Lovely coincidence, no?
For what it’s worth, I’m contributing 10% of my income to my Roth 401(k) plan in order to max out my company’s match. I have to stay three full years before I’m fully vested. If I leave before then, I’m only eligible to keep a certain percentage of the matched funds.
As with my Roth IRA, I chose a target-date retirement fund in order to simplify the investing process. As they have been explained to me, target-date funds are great because they are automatically rebalanced as you approach retirement age. No muss, no fuss.
I promised myself I was going to write a deep, insightful post about personal finance and career development this weekend, but I got sidetracked day dreaming about cars I can’t afford and going to the gym to work towards an ideal I’ll never attain.
So instead, here’s a video with two hot boys in their shorts doing some clever choreography to Daft Punk’s “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.”
The female version was incredibly popular on YouTube, but I think the guys do it better.
Hey, even us brazen careerist types need a break once in a while.
Now that I’m a full year out of college, I’ve had some time to think deeply about my college experience, and there are a lot of things I would have done differently.
I went to a small, private liberal arts university in the south. It’s well-ranked and was very expensive, but luckily I graduated with no debt thanks to my very supportive parents and a few small merit-based scholarships. (I also supported myself as much as possible by holding jobs on campus all four years.)
One of the reasons I chose my school was because they had a program which guaranteed me admittance to their law school if I maintained a certain GPA due to my standardized test scores. [The ACT was my best friend during the college admissions game. :) ]
Yes, for some strange reason, yours truly thought he wanted to go to law school. Ha. A year working for the law school admissions office cleared that right up. Who wants to be a headcase for three years and then enter a suicide- and depression-laden profession? Not this boy.
So, between my freshman and sophomore years I decided what would really make me happy would be becoming a veterinarian. So, I officially declared myself a biology major and eagerly signed up for 8:15am genetics. Luckily I had enough AP credits from high school so that I would be able to complete the biology major coursework even though I began as a sophomore.
Halfway through junior year (after having spent the summer as a veterinary assistant), I realized that although I do feel strongly about helping animals, it wasn’t something I was interested in as a career. [Factoid: Did you know veterinarians have a much higher-than-average suicide rate due to their high-stress levels and easy access to chemical euthanasia agents? More importantly, why was I attracted to high-stress, depressive professions in college?]
In May 2007 I graduated college without a firm plan for making it big with my B.S. in biology and my history minor.
Luckily, my experience as a website manager for one of my university’s schools’ websites was enough to get me a position in online ad operations (though that job didn’t last long).
These days I’m much happier in my current role as a semi-technical hire at a web development company. But it pains me that I could be much further along in my career had I done college differently. I certainly could be making more money, for instance, if I had a stronger technical background.
If I was granted a magical college do-over while retaining all the important Life Lessons I’ve learned, here’s what I think I would do:
- I would have picked a major that aligns with my interests and has the possibility of paying well. I did love the biology major (molecular bio and organic chemistry excepted), but entry-level jobs for a biology B.S. degree are competitive and pay poorly. The good jobs in biology all require an M.S. at the very least, and even most of those aren’t well compensated. I would have been better off with some combination of business and web technology, and probably just as happy since I am also interested in those subjects.
- I would have gone to a more prestigious school. Don’t get me wrong, my university was ranked well and has an excellent academic reputation. But I received an application from Princeton out of the blue during college application season, and I think a part of me will always wonder, What if…?
- Failing that, maybe I would have gone to a less prestigious school. With my AP credits I’d probably have been able to finish in 3 years at a less challenging school, saving my parents lots of money. Also I’d probably have a lot more free time to work on building my professional skill-set rather than poring over useless Calculus 2 problems.
- I would have gone to school in a large, liberal city, like D.C., San Francisco, or maybe Miami. Being gay in a small, southern city isn’t much fun. Partly, it’s a numbers game, because there are more gay people to meet in a large city than a small one. But it’s also about being in a place where people hate you less for being different—and let’s not forget that gay friendly cities tend to have better economies (pdf).
- I would have tried to find a corporate internship for the summer before senior year. When I graduated college, my resume only included a few campus jobs plus my summer with the veterinary hospital. Some first-hand corporate experience would have been good preparation for the business world because unfortunately, few entrepreneurs recognize the inherent character-building that comes with drawing blood from a Basset hound.
- I would have started applying for post-college jobs long before February of senior year. Even the few months’ head-start I gave myself was not enough time. I didn’t accept a job offer until August after graduation, which meant three insufferable months of living at home with my parents. I simply had no idea the job search process would take as long as it did. (To give you an idea how slow some of these companies move: An HR representative from Target.com called me in December to talk about a position I applied for in July. Wow.)
- If in my do-over I failed to get a job immediately after graduating, I would have moved to my desired city and started temping right away. Instead, I stupidly waited for months until I found a “good fit” which turned out not to be such a good fit after all. And though D.C. slash NoVA isn’t terrible, I let the city pick me rather than the other way around.
- I would have had more sex. Because… well, why not? Apparently it’s more important than making a lot of money.
One thing I won’t do is beat myself up for my respectable-but-not-4.0 GPA. Who wants to hire a kid with a perfect GPA anyway?
What about college do you wish you could redo?
