the Guppie Life

A quick shout-out to Mrs. Micah, who accompanied me last night to a networking slash guest lecture event for internet professionals. It was a blast, you know, for web nerd types like us.

During the event, Mrs. Micah overheard that one of the event attendees held a cool job she wanted to learn about. I was impressed how she marched right up to him and held his rapt attention. I wish I was as confident talking to strangers!

Afterward, I bounced over to Solly’s in D.C. for The New Gay’s Pride Recovery Party. It was pretty chill.

The New Gay blog is awesome. It blows my mind that some friends blogging about gay culture in D.C. have started a completely new social scene. Incredible.

All in all, Thursday was a great night for networking, both socially and professionally.

Thanks to Mrs. Micah and to the attractive gay guys who made last night possible! It wouldn’t have been the same without you.

There are dozens, if not hundreds, of social networking websites devoted to niche markets. There’s DeviantArt for blossoming artists, Model Mayhem for would-be models, Fuzzster for pets and pet-owners, and even MyDeathSpace for corpses.

Naturally, the gay and lesbian demographic has its own fair share of social networking sites: Gay.com, Connexion, Manhunt, DList, and Glee to mention a few, and there’s even the tragically underwhelming BeautifulGayGuys, whose pre-existing members screen potential members based on physical attractiveness.

In fact, there are too many gay-themed social networks to belong to them all and have a life outside the Internet, not to mention the ‘mainstream’ social networking sites, such as Myspace, Facebook, and Friendster.

What’s an internet-savvy gay young professional to do?

My advice might surprise you, but I say go for the big guns.

Myspace might have a reputation for being overrun with 14 year old emo tweens, but it’s currently the largest social networking website, with over 100 million accounts. Facebook has over 40 million accounts, and is growing quickly.

You might wonder why you should join a generic social networking site when there are so many gay-friendly options available?

For one thing, I should hope one’s entire social network is not limited to other gays. Straight people can be nice, too, I hear.

However, even assuming that you’re only interested in making gay friends, Facebook and Myspace are still your best bets.

(Interestingly, Facebook and Myspace attract a disproportionately high percentage of gay users.)

But disregarding that, let us roughly assume that a flat 5% of Facebook and Myspace users are gay, and conservatively estimate a user base of 150 million between the two networks. That’s 7.5 million gay users, which dwarfs most (if not all) of the gay-themed social networking competition.

What’s the difference between the two? It’s largely a matter of demographics and personal preference. I like Facebook’s cleaner interface and advanced privacy controls, but I have a Myspace, too.

LinkedIn isn’t as fun or frivolous as many of the other social networking sites, but it could potentially be much more valuable than all the other social networking websites combined.

LinkedIn offers social networking for career-oriented professionals. While there’s no guarantee that your next job offer is going to come from the Internet, it doesn’t hurt to put yourself out there, and having a job-centric profile might even inspire you to be more thoughtful about your career development.

Even if you’re not sure if LinkedIn is right for you, it makes sense to go ahead and reserve an account using your first and last name, if only to prevent someone else from taking it later. Right now there are only about 15 million users, but membership is growing quickly.

If you haven’t already, make sure to check out my earlier entries, How to Write Successful Social Networking Profiles and How to Write Successful Social Networking Profiles, Part 2: Your Profile as an Ad.

An unfortunate aspect of being gay is that it makes you a statistical anomaly. If the rule-of-thumb is that ~5% of people are gay, then your chances of meeting another gay person on any given day aren’t astronomically high. The chances of you running into another witty, attractive, successful gay person are even slimmer. And even if you do come across one, you better hope that your extrasensory perceptions are up to snuff, or you might miss out.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise then that online social networking is a big deal in the gay world. Whether you’re looking to make gay friends, to find someone to date, or to find some to date in the, ahem, overnight sense, your best chance is probably online. For those gay young professionals living outside of major metropolitan areas, online might be your only chance to make these connections.

However, very few people write effective online profiles, gay or straight (or whatever). When creating any online profile, you should always keep in mind the ultimate goal. Why are you making the profile to begin with? Do you want to make new friends? Do you want to find people to date? Do you want to network with other gay professionals?

In the upcoming weeks, I’ll write about some of the specific social networking sites and what they have to offer to gay users, along with specific suggestions for each site. In the meantime, here are some general tips that I try to follow when writing an online profile. I think you’ll find them useful.

1. Write an interesting headline.

Never leave the headline blank. It’s your shot at a first impression, your chance to communicate the essence of you in just a few words. Even if you feel that you’re not a creative person (which is a self-defeatist lie, and you know it), put SOMETHING down. You can always change it later.

For the extraordinarily uninspired, you can use a song lyric or a quote, even if it doesn’t make much sense. Potential friends and suitors will be able to ask about the headline as a way to approach you online.

2. Keep it short.

Most people don’t read online. It’s true. They scan. So keep your online profile to the point.

3. Make lists.

Also, web users prefer easily-scannable lists to chunky blocks of text. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t list all fifty of your favorite movies. For one, it’s cumbersome, and two, who cares? Don’t overwhelm your audience with an exhaustive record of all of your favorites or your likes and dislikes; instead focus on the most important ones. Try to keep all lists to about 7 points or less.

4. Don’t be generic.

It really irks me when people write in their online profiles that they enjoy having fun. I mean wow, what a shocker. “You enjoy having fun, too?! I thought I was the only one who enjoys fun!”

(Similarly, I also forbid you from ever writing in your profile that you enjoy “chilling,” “hanging out with friends,” “going out,” or “relaxing.”)

Instead, write about how you like to have fun, and use examples whenever possible. Swimming? Okay. Scuba diving? Even better.

This also applies to describing your own personality. Almost everyone thinks of himself or herself as “nice” or “friendly,” but you’ll get a better response if you try to paint a picture for your audience. For example, don’t write that you’re a good person, write that you volunteer with an organization that tutors underprivileged, blind, pregnant, drug-addicted orphans. With scurvy.

Don’t be afraid to stand out, because it’s what will get you noticed, which is the whole point of an online profile. An interesting hobby could even segue into real conversation. “Oh you like scuba diving? That’s pretty intense. When’s the last time you went?”

See how easy that was? Stayed tuned for more on this subject.