Toughstuff from Below the Belt shared today some insight on the process of evolving as a gay professional.
College was a time when I spent a great deal of effort on coming to terms with my sexuality and learning how to negotiate this new “self” with my old and new networks—friends, family, peers, etc. Graduating and finding a great first job was, for me, my way of proving to myself and to the world that even though I was a wishy-washy liberal and activist… I could do just as well as people who had not gone through what I did and probably majored in something more practical like business.
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There are moments now, as I’m becoming comfortable in the workplace and confident in my ability to do work, when I realize I’ve become “a professional.” When someone calls for me on the phone I reflexively act happy and excited to hear from them, and grateful for the good work they’ve brought to the table. When I sit in a meeting, I always bring a notepad and pen and I try to anticipate questions about anything that might be brought up during the meeting. I offer to help with others’ projects I may not have anything to do with. I am outgoing at work, I always ask how people are doing, how their weekends were, what they’re doing for the holiday. My work identity has, in many ways, been institutionalized—and it’s crazy because those who knew me a few years ago knew me as a very shy, almost socially defunct kind of guy. In some ways I kind of like this new personality I can turn on. I feel that it has helped me to be more successful at work.
Though he writes through the lens of his own sexuality, I think most of us go through this struggle before getting to that Aha! I can do this! moment. Being gay adds another layer of ‘Other-ness‘ to the experience.
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