Archive for July, 2008

Rechanneling My Anxiety


It’s been a pretty stressful week at work.

A few weeks ago I finally was handed the reins to a pretty complicated project, but it’s not been going well. I didn’t manage client expectations as well as I should (read: saying, “No!”). There were also unforeseen glitches in the coding process that caused multiple deadlines to be pushed back.

After delivering some bad news over the phone to the client today (”No, you cannot use data from a year ago if it was not ever collected in the first place”), I told her I’d check with the technical team to try to find a solution and get back to her first thing tomorrow morning.

Two minutes later, I heard the phone ring in my boss’s office. Unhappy with the answer I had given her, she decided to go over my head, of course. Unfortunately for the client, I had given her the correct answer.

Even so, I felt stressed about the whole situation. I had hoped to exceed everyone’s expectations on this project. I envisioned happy clients, happy users, and a cheerful developer or two. Instead, I’ve got an anxious client, cranky developers, and who knows what the users are going to think.

I left the office a little after 6pm, feeling very stressed and moody. All I wanted was to crank up the AC, curl up under a blanket, and devastate a 9,000ish calorie Chipotle burrito with side of chips and guacamole.

But during the middle of my commute—blasting Rihanna’s Disturbia with the top down, because I do not care what the other suburban yuppies think of my taste in music—I had a moment of enlightenment.

I needed to rechannel my pent-up frustration. Eating that tortilla-wrapped flavor-explosion-chode would make me feel guilty. Stress eating burritos solves nothing. It only perpetuates the cycle of negativity.

So instead, I changed course. I went to the gym, where I eye-fucked a thirty-something personal trainer and an extremely tan twentysomething who might have been gay or European. Afterward, I hopped over to Whole Foods to buy $30 worth of fresh organic cherries because they’re delicious and in-season and healthy and seize-the-day yada yada yada… By the time I got home, I felt 100% better.

When I started writing this post, I think I meant to come to some conclusion about how you can turn around your anxious energy to make it work for you instead of against you.

But instead I think that maybe the lesson here is that when you’re in a bad mood, you’ll feel better if you do something slutty and expensive.

[Ed's note: Alternative title for this blog post was 'Putting the Ho in Whole Foods.']

Popularity: 18% [?]

Dupont Circle: Officially So 5 Minutes Ago

The Washington Business Journal reported a few days ago on the mass exodus of gays from the Dupont Circle neighborhood in Washington, D.C.

Anecdotally, that sounds about right. The young gays all want to live around Town and Nelly’s Sports Bar.

Cobalt and JR’s are for the old-school gays.

And one or two of us live in the McMansion suburbs of Fairfax County, for reasons not even entirely clear to ourselves.

Popularity: 17% [?]

Live from my iPod Touch…

Amazing! There’s an iPod/iPhone app for blogging with Wordpress.

Now if only I could type on it faster than 15 words per minute…

Popularity: 15% [?]

I’m Not Dead, Just Having an Anxiety Attack

Quick update:

  • Bought a new (used) car from a used car dealership. It’s a 2005 BMW Z4, but it had to go to the BMW dealer for repairs. Praise be to the BMW warranty. I hate the dealership folks. And I’m mad at myself for making some mistakes in the car-buying process, but whatever, it was my first time, and once the car is fixed I’ll love it. (More details later.)
  • Deadlines at work. Publishers as clients means deadlines, deadlines, deadlines! Stress all around. Stress for me, stress for coworkers, stress for the clients.
  • The whole dating thing continues to elude me.

Popularity: 18% [?]

Reader Survey: Would You Buy a Used Car on the Internet?

I’m having terrible luck trying to find the used-car of my dreams. Last week a car was bought out from under me, but this week the theme has been deluded Craigslist people who think their used convertibles are worth thousands over Kelley Blue Book value and Edmunds True Market Value.

Naive little me thought that maybe they simply weren’t aware that their asking prices were unreasonable, so I emailed them PDF versions of the Kelley Blue Book appraisal… silly me. Didn’t I know that these cars were special and therefore exempt from the rules-of-supply and demand?

So, gentle readers, it seems like I could wait around 3 more months for the perfect car to be listed on Craigslist and hope for a reasonable asking price… or I could take drastic measures.

One thing I noticed whilst performing searches on Cars.com with an ever-expanding geographic radius is that convertibles are more plentiful in sunny, warm states like California and Florida (duh). Because they’re more common (supply-and-demand, yada yada), those sunny-state convertibles are much cheaper than the same model in the D.C. / Virginia region.

A quick email to a Californian dealership confirmed that any car can be shipped to the East Coast for about $1,000, and I’d imagine it’d be less for shorter distances.

Now the question is this, gentle readers: Assuming I can save maybe $3,000 by getting a car from California and assuming that shipping will cost about $1,0000, is it worth it? Is a net $2,000 discount worth buying a car sight-unseen?

Do you know someone who’s ever bought a used car online?

Popularity: 16% [?]

A Quick Comment on Comments!

Last night I upgraded my blogging software to the latest version. The process somehow restored functionality to the Guppie Life Comments feed, which had not been working for some time. (Oops.)

If you’d like, consider subscribing to the comments feed. It’ll keep you up-to-date on the conversations that happen in behind-the-scenes in the comments section.

  Subscribe to the Guppie Life comments in a reader

While you’re at it, why not subscribe to blog posts via RSS or via email newsletter?

Popularity: 42% [?]

toughstuff on Professionalization

Toughstuff from Below the Belt shared today some insight on the process of evolving as a gay professional.

College was a time when I spent a great deal of effort on coming to terms with my sexuality and learning how to negotiate this new “self” with my old and new networks—friends, family, peers, etc. Graduating and finding a great first job was, for me, my way of proving to myself and to the world that even though I was a wishy-washy liberal and activist… I could do just as well as people who had not gone through what I did and probably majored in something more practical like business.

There are moments now, as I’m becoming comfortable in the workplace and confident in my ability to do work, when I realize I’ve become “a professional.” When someone calls for me on the phone I reflexively act happy and excited to hear from them, and grateful for the good work they’ve brought to the table. When I sit in a meeting, I always bring a notepad and pen and I try to anticipate questions about anything that might be brought up during the meeting. I offer to help with others’ projects I may not have anything to do with. I am outgoing at work, I always ask how people are doing, how their weekends were, what they’re doing for the holiday. My work identity has, in many ways, been institutionalized—and it’s crazy because those who knew me a few years ago knew me as a very shy, almost socially defunct kind of guy. In some ways I kind of like this new personality I can turn on. I feel that it has helped me to be more successful at work.

Though he writes through the lens of his own sexuality, I think most of us go through this struggle before getting to that Aha! I can do this! moment. Being gay adds another layer of ‘Other-ness‘ to the experience.

Read Toughstuff’s full post at Below the Belt

Popularity: 15% [?]

Further Misadventures in Used Car Buying

BMW Z4 Roadster
A few weeks ago, I faced a minor disappointment when a used car I wanted to buy was sold two hours before my appointment to test drive it. I was pretty bummed about it, because it was a pretty hot deal for an 2004 BMW 325i, but I tried to make it into a learning experience. Next time, I said to myself, I’ll move faster. I won’t miss out on another deal.

Then, I found it: a low mileage 2004 BMW Z4 with the upgraded 3.0 L engine and all of the options for thousands less than Kelley Blue Book Value. I immediately emailed to set up an appointment. The owner was going out of town, so I had to wait a week, but during that week I emailed a few questions in order to let him know that I was interested. We finally made an appointment for Wednesday, so on Tuesday I applied for a used car loan through my father’s credit union. I really wanted that car.

Then on Wednesday afternoon, I received a call around lunchtime from the owner of the Z4. Another party was driving up from Richmond to see the car and would arrive hours before me. And they had cash.

Of course, the owner sold it to the party from Richmond. He offered a half-hearted email apology: “Sorry man. They got here first. They had cash.”

Once again, I had been out-maneuvered.

On the upside, I called the credit union and it turns out I can keep my loan pre-approval status for 2 months. They were able to remove the references to the Z4, so it’s not even tied to a specific car.

They offered 7.7% APR over 48 months, which is decent but not an amazing deal. When I called, I protested that I have a great credit score, but the loan officer called it a “false high” and said that I had never had a loan before, only low-balance credit card debt, so she couldn’t offer me the lowest rate.

Next time I find a scorching deal on a used car, I might have to take off of work. In my book, taking a half-day is worth saving a few thousand on my dream car. Plus it helps that my boss is a ‘car guy,’ although he (and my father!) would rather see me get an early-2000s Porsche Boxster.

Popularity: 16% [?]

In Which the Work-Life / Personal-Life Boundary is Crossed

Yesterday at work I overheard my boss telling a coworker that he found a great deal on a large-capacity external hard drive.

I popped my head into his office and asked where he got it, because I’m in the market for a new one. I recently upgraded to the newest version of the Mac operating system called OS X Leopard. It has an automatic file-backup feature, but in order to use it I need a new ‘Mac-formatted’ external hard drive.

I explained this to my boss, but he said I didn’t need to buy a new hard drive. I could take my old one to work, empty its contents onto my work computer, then re-format the old hard drive and put the files back on it.

I thanked my boss for the suggestion, but just as I turned to leave, a coworker asked, “Wow, 300 gigs? What do you keep on that thing, anyway?”

I turned bright red and stuttered for a second, as I’m prone to do when embarrassed. I mumbled something about TV shows and walked out as quickly as I could.

It’s safe to say I won’t ever bring the hard drive to work.

Popularity: 16% [?]

Update: Closing an Account with Citibank

Last month I wrote that I was having trouble closing my Citibank online savings account.

I eventually sent an email to customer service, although when I had to choose a pre-written email subject, “Close My Account” wasn’t an option, naturally. A day or so later they emailed me back to say that the process was in motion.

And a few days after that I received a check with the remainder of my account balance in the mail.

For 8 cents. Holla.

Popularity: 15% [?]