Archive for June, 2008

Are SUVs Evil?

As you might remember, I’m shopping around for a new (used) car.

One thing I’ve noticed is that SUVs are ridiculously cheap right now. Much cheaper than the subcompact models I had been considering.

Now, I’m not especially attracted to SUVs and I don’t often haul stuff around, but let me play devil’s advocate: I’ve run the numbers, and with the low amount of miles I drive, I’d come out financially a couple grand ahead with an SUV vs. a more expensive compact car after two years (even assuming $5/gal gas).

It seems like SUVs are selling for less than they’re worth right now because everyone’s gone crazy over gas prices. Everyone wants a Prius or a Civic.

Should I consider bucking the trend in order to save some money? Do we really think gas prices are going to remain this high?

When the rest of the country zigs, should you zag?

Life Lessons from Tim Gill: Entrepreneur, Millionaire Philanthropist and GLBT Activist

Moreso than Hollywood names like Anderson Cooper or Ellen DeGeneres, Tim Gill is a role model for gay millennials.

In 1981 with a $2,000 loan from his parents, Tim founded Quark, the company responsible for QuarkXPress, a piece of software that revolutionized the publishing industry. (Seriously, ask around. It’s a big deal.)

Though Tim parted ways with Quark in 2000, he’s still keeps himself plenty busy as a full-time philanthropist and activist. His charitable endeavors include the Gill Foundation, which has given over $120 million to GLBT-friendly nonprofits, and also the newer Gill Action Fund, which is dedicated to funding pro-GLBT political change.

It’s no wonder then that Tim was chosen by Out Magazine as the 5th most powerful gay person in North America.

Actually, Tim’s so powerful that he frightens conservative wing-nuts like Pat Robertson, who fear that he’s just too good at advancing GLBT causes.

A few weeks ago I got in touch with Tim and asked if he’d be willing to do an interview for the Guppie Life readers. He graciously agreed to share some of the secrets of his success.

AJ: You created Quark when you were only about 27 years old. Becoming an entrepreneur at any age takes a lot of guts. How did you find the courage?
TG: It wasn’t a matter of courage. I was let go from a job at a very small company. Basically they’d run out of money and it was either lay me off or one of the board of directors.

Two startup companies I’d worked for before that had also gone out of business. So I just decided that if I worked for myself then I’d never lay myself off. And it worked!

AJ: You also created Connexion.org, a free social networking site for LGBT people. Why do you think LGBT people need their own spaces on the internet? Do you foresee a time when there won’t be a need for LGBT niche networks?
TG: Niche spaces will always be around for the same reasons there are niche magazines, niche bars and even niche social clubs. Heck, I even founded a niche club for gay snowboarders! It’s just more efficient to congregate with a group of people that share a common interest - whether it’s how you choose to ride the mountain or whom you want to date!

The wonderful thing about the internet is that since it doesn’t have geographic limitations, you can make spaces for niches that are so small that they’d never survive in any other way.

AJ: Which do you think is the biggest issue facing young gays today? Marriage rights? The lack of federal protections for sexual orientation? Or is there another? How about Generation Y as a whole (straight & gay, etc)?
TG: The biggest issue for young gays is certainly not marriage! If you’re in a rural area, it’s more about how to meet people and how to come out - if you can even come out. If you’re out, single and live in an urban area, it’s probably more how to deal with the drama of the people you meet! :)

Discrimination is a potential issue for everyone. Relationship issues and family issues typically don’t become important until later.

AJ: If you could re-do your professional life, what would you do differently?
TG: Almost nothing. I’ve been very lucky and you never know what might change if you tinker with the past! I cherish both my successes and my failures. And, on balance I think I’ve learned more from my failures than from my successes.

Thanks Tim for your time and insight. Keep in touch!

Word of the Day: FUBAR

Yesterday my boss taught me a new word: FUBAR.

Luckily he wasn’t talking about my work.

oh hai, i’m in ur klub netwerkin with ur colleegs

A quick shout-out to Mrs. Micah, who accompanied me last night to a networking slash guest lecture event for internet professionals. It was a blast, you know, for web nerd types like us.

During the event, Mrs. Micah overheard that one of the event attendees held a cool job she wanted to learn about. I was impressed how she marched right up to him and held his rapt attention. I wish I was as confident talking to strangers!

Afterward, I bounced over to Solly’s in D.C. for The New Gay’s Pride Recovery Party. It was pretty chill.

The New Gay blog is awesome. It blows my mind that some friends blogging about gay culture in D.C. have started a completely new social scene. Incredible.

All in all, Thursday was a great night for networking, both socially and professionally.

Thanks to Mrs. Micah and to the attractive gay guys who made last night possible! It wouldn’t have been the same without you.

Happy Belated Pride: Here’s Some Gay Summer Reading

June is certainly the gayest month yet in 2008!

  • Last weekend was D.C. Capital Pride. I didn’t go (and have never been) but I heard it was a fun weekend.
  • Gay people got married in California this week, some of them for the second time. (Congratulations to Sam and Bronson! Do those two travel with their own personal lighting crew or what?)
  • The L.A. Times wrote about research on gay brains, and it caused quite a stir.

    The area of the brain that processes emotions also looked much the same in gay men and straight women — and both groups have higher rates of depressive disorders than heterosexual men, researchers said.

    Vilain said his hunch was that the entire brain was not feminized because “gay men have a number of masculine traits that are not present in women.” For example, he said, men regardless of sexual orientation tend to be interested in casual sex and are stimulated by sexually suggestive images.

    So, gay men sleep around, but then we feel really bad about it afterward? … Actually that sounds about right.

  • More discussion of gay brains at the Broken Cupid blog.
  • Slate magazine took the gay brains idea a step further. If sexual orientation is caused by chemistry, people are going to want to change that chemistry. Do parents have a right to give their children vaccinations against being gay?

    If the idea of chemically suppressing homosexuality in the womb horrifies you, I have bad news: You won’t be in the room when it happens. Parents control medical decisions, and surveys indicate that the vast majority of them would be upset to learn that their child was gay. Already, millions are screening embryos and fetuses to eliminate those of the “wrong” sex. Do you think they won’t screen for the “wrong” sexual orientation, too?

    Liberals are slow to see what’s coming. They’re still fighting the culture war. The Toronto Star, like other papers, finds a neuroscientist who thinks the new study “should erode the moral judgments often made against homosexual preferences and rebut any argument that it is a mere a lifestyle choice.” Well, yes. But then what? The reduction of homosexuality to neurobiology doesn’t mean your sexual orientation can’t be controlled. It just means the person controlling it won’t be you.

  • Gallup released data from a new poll that says Americans are evenly split amongst those who think gay sex is morally acceptable and those who are in denial about how utterly hot it is.

    Gallup poll Gay Sex Morality
  • Chris Ford of The Generation Y Conservative blog, a fellow member of the Brazen Careerist Network, shared his very special thoughts on gay marriage. It caused quite the controversy. Over 75 comments so far! My advice to people who oppose gay marriage: Don’t get one.

Hey Citi, What We Have Here, is a Failure to Communicate

I’m trying to close my Citibank online savings account in favor of my newer and easier-to-use ING Direct account.

Citibank seems to think they can prevent customers from closing their accounts by ignoring the issue. I can’t find a single help article mentioning the account closure process, and it’s not in their FAQs. In the end, I had to send an email.

In the web world, we call this “poor user experience.”

WTF mate?

Are Gay Couples Better At Relationships?

A recent New York Times article suggests yes, maybe straight couples do have something to learn from their same-sex counterparts:

A growing body of evidence shows that same-sex couples have a great deal to teach everyone else about marriage and relationships. Most studies show surprisingly few differences between committed gay couples and committed straight couples, but the differences that do emerge have shed light on the kinds of conflicts that can endanger heterosexual relationships.

The findings offer hope that some of the most vexing problems are not necessarily entrenched in deep-rooted biological differences between men and women. And that, in turn, offers hope that the problems can be solved.

Notably, same-sex relationships, whether between men or women, were far more egalitarian than heterosexual ones. In heterosexual couples, women did far more of the housework; men were more likely to have the financial responsibility; and men were more likely to initiate sex, while women were more likely to refuse it or to start a conversation about problems in the relationship. With same-sex couples, of course, none of these dichotomies were possible, and the partners tended to share the burdens far more equally.

While the gay and lesbian couples had about the same rate of conflict as the heterosexual ones, they appeared to have more relationship satisfaction, suggesting that the inequality of opposite-sex relationships can take a toll.

One well-known study used mathematical modeling to decipher the interactions between committed gay couples. The results, published in two 2003 articles in The Journal of Homosexuality, showed that when same-sex couples argued, they tended to fight more fairly than heterosexual couples, making fewer verbal attacks and more of an effort to defuse the confrontation.

Controlling and hostile emotional tactics, like belligerence and domineering, were less common among gay couples.

Same-sex couples were also less likely to develop an elevated heartbeat and adrenaline surges during arguments. And straight couples were more likely to stay physically agitated after a conflict…

Huh. Maybe my parents wouldn’t have divorced if they were lesbians.

Wouldn’t that rock? I kinda wish my parents were gay.

Oh No She Didn’t

From The Onion, America’s Finest News Source:

HARTFORD, CT—The Connecticut Supreme Court on Monday upheld the right of individuals, regardless of sexual orientation, to engage in any number of “grandiose behaviors,” including, but not limited to, sashaying across the room “like a hussy, yelling ‘Oh my God!’ at the top of their lungs while hopping up and down, and generally acting like Miss Thing.”

The ruling, which effectively affirms the right of all attention whores to make a complete spectacle of themselves, is already being contested by conservative groups and is expected to be appealed.

Link to full story

A Bimmer Bummer: A Lesson in Managing Expectations

BMW 325iIt’s time for a new car. I’m still driving the same 2000 Volkswagen Jetta I bought my senior year of high school.

Back in November 2002, I paid $14,500 for Jetta in cash. I had saved the money over four years working at my part-time and summer job on the boardwalk in Ocean City, Maryland. I told my friends that the car was my Christmas, Birthday and high school graduation gift to myself, all in one.

For the first few years with Jetta, I was deliriously happy. It had a stick shift and a turbo-charged engine, which meant instant credibility with car people (even though at college I learned that the Volkswagen Jetta was the unofficial mascot of Delta Delta Delta).

It might have been a sorority girl car, but Jetta was a sweet sorority girl car. Moonroof. Indigo instrumentation panel. Premium sound system. A mysterious traction control button that I never dared to deactivate. Even the tacky “Tornado Red” paint color grew on me.

Flash forward to June 2008.

The car only has 60,000 miles (because I hardly drove in college), but it’s deteriorating due to age. In November 2007, I spent about $1,700 on rear brake rotors, an engine intake something-or-other, and a dry-rotted serpentine belt.

Now the front brakes are squeaking, the exhaust is making scary shaking noises, the moonroof has shown signs of minor demonic possession, and as of yesterday the keyless entry doesn’t work. And I’m told that the struts are shot and need to be replaced. (New struts? I thought a strut was a kind of walk?)

It occurred to me that the cost to repair the machine might be significantly more than it’s worth. After all, parts and labor for European cars doesn’t come cheap!

So, for the past few weeks I have been car shopping. Although I previously wrote about wanting to save up for a hybrid, after a little bit of research I’m not so sure. There is a still a huge price premium for hybrids here in Northern Virginia, and I think I could get more bang for my buck with something less eco-yuppie trendy.

I began looking at used BMW and Lexus listings on Craigslist, mostly as a joke.

Naturally, most of those were ridiculously out of my price range, so all I could do was shrug. The ones I could afford were all much older than Jetta and had higher miles.

But then I found it.

A 2004 BMW 325i. Silver. Moonroof. Heated leather seats. And (barely) within the 50,000 mile BMW warranty. Best of all, it was priced $2,000 below Kelly Blue Book value and Edmunds’ “True Market Value.”

I was ecstatic. I emailed the owner, and before long i had a response. No, it had not been sold yet. Yes, I could see it Friday. Scratch that. Better make it Thursday so I could arrange financing before the weekend.

All day Thursday my heart was racing. It was happening so fast, but it was finally happening! I showed the Craigslist posting to my coworkers. I bragged about how it was such a great deal, and they conspired as to how I could add weird bits of plastic to the car the make it look “cooler.” (Computer geeks detest “stock” anything. To get respect from those guys, you need to modify your stuff, whether it’s a car or a computer.)

Then at 4pm, an email from the owner: “Sorry guy. I just sold the car an hour ago. I hate doing that to you. Best of luck.”

My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach. I’ve had breakups that were easier to swallow than losing this car.

So what am I going to do? I don’t know. Now that I’ve had my dream car within reach, it’s hard difficult painful for me to go back to looking at the Honda Civic or the Toyota Camry. Sure, they’re practical, dependable cars. But they don’t get me excited. My heart doesn’t flutter thinking about a Toyota Corolla or a Honda Accord.

The BMW set the bar for my expectations, and I don’t know if I can get stomach-butterflies for anything else. How am I supposed to deal with this?

I see a few options:

  • Buy an older model BMW. My target range was 2004-2005, but I could lower this to 2002-2003. I’d rather have an older performance sports sedan than a newer Asian econo-car. Of course the main concern is that the older I go, the more I’ll run into costly maintenance issues.
  • Continue to drive Jetta and save money until I can afford I car I really like. And hope that Jetta doesn’t need costly repairs in the meantime.
  • Increase the length of the auto loan. I was planning on a 36 month car loan, which is typical according to my research. I intend on keeping my next car for at least three years anyway. But I could also consider getting a 48 month car loan. I qualify for a low interest rate car loan through my father’s credit union, so the extra interest wouldn’t be that costly.

All of the options have drawbacks. If I wait too long to trade in my Jetta, I risk another mechanical disaster that eats into the trade-in value. If I buy a car that doesn’t make me excited, I risk buyer’s remorse. I can get buyer’s remorse to the point of being depressed… it’s very bad.

But of course if I buy a car I can’t afford, I risk having to rely on my emergency fund more than I’d like.

My head is spinning. I hate myself for being the kind of person who obsesses about which entry-level luxury car to buy when there are so many other more important things in life.

But at the same time, I lust for a BMW 3-series.

How do I reconcile my greedy reptilian brain that says, “I want! I want! I want!” and my higher-level consciousness that tells me, “Be reasonable. Be practical. Be boring.”

As if $1 Million Wasn’t Daunting Enough…

A recent article from U.S. News & World Report asks “Is $1 Million Enough to Retire On?

The short answer: Maybe. But probably not for spoiled consumerist whores like yours truly.

This depressing news comes on the day I became eligible to begin 401(k) contributions.

Lovely coincidence, no?

For what it’s worth, I’m contributing 10% of my income to my Roth 401(k) plan in order to max out my company’s match. I have to stay three full years before I’m fully vested. If I leave before then, I’m only eligible to keep a certain percentage of the matched funds.

As with my Roth IRA, I chose a target-date retirement fund in order to simplify the investing process. As they have been explained to me, target-date funds are great because they are automatically rebalanced as you approach retirement age. No muss, no fuss.