I’ve learned over the years that if I decide to “loan” someone money, then I just consider it a gift. It seems to make things simpler, and then if the person later re-pays me, I get an unexpected bonus. If I’m not ready to give the money, then I don’t “loan” it.

I think we’d all be surprised at how many people around us are living paycheck to paycheck.

I wouldn’t have given the money in the first place if I expected back… I hate “loaning” money to people that I know I’m going to have to be around. It just avoids this whole mess that you are in.

Now, in your situation, I think you did the right thing. You need your money back (and even if you don’t NEED it, its still your money) So, yeah, have her cash out her stocks. She didn’t need to do that in the first place b/c she had you (and probably other relatives, as well)

Also, I think it is perfectly reasonable to believe that if she is strapped for cash, she needs to sell the gas guzzler, and keep herself at home some nights and learn to take care of herself. (I’m sorry, I am completely unsympathetic in situations like this)

It’s one thing to be in a bind and really need help, but this isn’t the case with her.

I’m glad you are getting you money back. And good for you for standing up for yourself and not giving in when she put the guilt on you….

[...] friend AJ at the Guppie Life posted recently about a problem he’s having with family and money: A few months ago, I loaned an older relative some money. At the time I didn’t even think of it [...]

I’ve been thinking about this more…why didn’t she just cash out the stock in the first place if she was so desperate for money? Why go through you? I know I seem like a bitch…but I have a lot of pride (to a fault) and I would do ANYTHING before I had to ask someone for a loan.

Well done.

An option might have been getting the parent’s involved…although that would be mean.

It’s like selling your loan. Get the ‘rents to pay you the $1000 and then have miss thing pay them back.

Humiliating? Yes. But that’s the point. It’s easy exploiting a young family member, but once equals are dragged in…well, that’s when the lessons are learned.

I’m not going to sugarcoat – maybe her cashing out some stock will make her take heed and realize that her hard-earned (or in your case, your hard-earned money) is not best spent on whiskey sours at open mic night. I know it would for me, anyway.

I’m not sure what I would have done in that situation. It’s hard to put myself in your shoes because I haven’t had similar dealings with my own family, but I probably would have done something similar. At the same time, I might have also used the breakdown as a chance to educate the person a little bit about personal finance since you have done your own research quite extensively – although that’s hard to do without sounding preachy, especially under the circumstances. But offering a helping hand to help clean up the finances, and coming from a place of caring, might help in the long run.