the Guppie Life

I’d like to preface this post with this declaration: I’m no expert on dating, romance or hot gay sex. In college it took me two years to realize that “Wanna watch a DVD?” is code for “Wanna hook up on the futon?” I guess I thought that futons had some intrinsic aphrodisiac quality.

That being said, the interwebz don’t have much dating advice specifically for gayz. I figure something is better than nothing, so here goes:

1. Walk together through the cool neighborhood you’ve always wanted to check out.

You can visit small specialty stores and art galleries, then get dinner at a hole-in-the-wall ethnic restaurant. For dessert, get an ice cream cone for dessert and continue walking around the neighborhood. Make sure to see local landmarks. Maybe walk around a residential neighborhood and point out what you like about the different houses.

Pros: You get exercise. The date lasts only as long as you wish.
Cons: Dependent on good weather and living near a city.

2. Got to a wine tasting

Many towns hold their own wine tasting festivals throughout the year. Wine festivals also often include live music and food vendors.

If there’s no festival, you can tour a local winery– most tours include a tasting at the end.

Alternatively: Beer festival / brewery tour

Pros: Can make you seem cultured. A light buzz can break the ice.
Cons: Not everyone likes wine. Too much wine can be troublesome.

3. See a play

Plays are more romantic than movies. You get to talk during the intermission and there are no annoying previews.

Avoid musicals unless your date has expressed a strong interest. Trust me, not everyone loves them as much as you do.

Pros: Doesn’t require much planning.
Cons: The play could suck. There’s not much time to talk to your date.

4. Go to the zoo

I went on a date at the National Zoo, and it was amazing fun. There was lots of time to talk, and the animals were cool, too.

If you bring a camera, later on you can cuddle up and compare photos.

Aquariums work, too. Sharks are just less likely to induce cuddly feelings.

Pros: Cheap. Unconventional.
Cons: Weather dependent. Animals can smell bad.

5. Go to the gym together

This might sound a little weird, but stay with me.

You get to show off your muscles, and you’re pretty much expected to check out his body. This also makes it really easy to flirt without too much risk: “Man, I wish I had defined arms like yours.”

After your workout, relax in the sauna… then hit the showers together to check out the goods. What?! Joking! Sorta.

Pros: Kinda sexy.
Cons: Requires gym membership and self confidence.

6. Dinner & Karaoke

Even if neither of you wants to sing, it’s a painfully hilarious spectacle. Flirt by daring him to perform, or perform something yourself. Or just be snarky and make fun of everyone else together.

Pros: Sometimes it’s funny to laugh at other people
Cons: Sometimes your date wrongly believes he’s a good singer

7. Drag brunch

Drag brunches are watered-down versions of nighttime drag shows and are often catered towards straight people. So if you’re not into drag shows, think of drag brunch as “drag-lite.” Plus, cheap drinks before noon!

This is a great test to see if your date is a good sport, especially if he prides himself on being “masc.” Bring dollar bills and tell the entertainers it’s your date’s birthday.

Pros: Funny. Cheap drinks.
Cons: Might make your date too uncomfortable.

8. Cooking classes

Every gay wants to know how to be a better chef, right? Turn it into a competition, see who makes the better soufflé.

If you’re a quick study, you can use what you’ve learned to prepare the meal for date number two.

But it doesn’t have to be a cooking class. Any kind of one-off class works, really. Try a pottery class and then later re-enact that scene from Ghost.

Pros: Food is sensuous, and cooking is a practical skill.
Cons: Gourmet-level classes can be pricey. Limited by scheduling conflicts.

9. Segway tours/rentals

In some cities, you can rent Segways LINK, those weird scooter things. I had the chance to test one at a lecture in college.

You could either take a guided tour or go exploring on your own. Try challenging your date to a friendly race.

I think the concept is so ridiculous you probably can’t help but smile the whole time, and he’ll have to give you credit for ingenuity.

Pros: Unconventional, quirky.
Cons: Only in certain cities. Expensive. Kinda dorky.

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