According to a paper recently published in Behavioral Neuroscience, rats fed a diet containing artificial sweetener actually gained more weight than rats fed real sugar. The scientists theorize that the artificial sweetener (saccharin) essentially fooled the rats’ metabolism, slowing it down so that the rats burned fewer calories overall.
I predict that this news will send shock waves through the gay community. Can you even imagine a world without snarky diet-coke-whores?
I, for one, am traumatized. I need to rethink my entire nutritional strategy and weekly shopping list.
What is going to replace my two daily diet sodas? Gin? Does that even come in a can?
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