the Guppie Life

I love giving gifts around the holidays, but every year I struggle when it comes time to shop for my gaggle of gays. I know it’s supposed to be the emotion behind the gift that counts, but I really want my gift to stand out from the rest. Tis better to give than receive, eh?

As a whole, gays are a pretty difficult lot. Clothes are out of the question, because most of my gay friends are incredibly more stylish than me, and guessing sizes is a madman’s game. If you guess too big or too small, the gift recipient might get offended and/or rush off to join a gym. Plus, style is a pretty personal decision. I’d rather not feel obligated to wear an ugly sweater because it was a gift.

To make matters more complicated, I detest giving gift cards. While I do not hate receiving them, gift cards are the ultimate in gift-giving laziness. Giving a gift card as a Christmas gift is the equivalent of wearing sweatpants on a first date. Yeah, technically it’ll get the job done, but there’s something to be said for pretty packaging and a few dollops of effort.

So what’s a gay yuppie on a budget to do? Below are just a few ideas I have begun to mull over. Mostly they’re things that I want. :)

Yeah, every gay and his mom has an iPod already, but having two can be twice as nice. For instance, I’m a complete spaz at the gym, and always worrying about dropping my iPod. But I wouldn’t have that problem with the Shuffle, which feels weightless, and comes with a convenient built-in clip.
Price: $80

I’m still pretty new to my town, having moved here not too long ago for a job, and I’m still having difficultly finding my way around. A GPS for my car would have come in handy many, many times by now. If I don’t get one this holiday season, I’m buying one for myself, though they aren’t inexpensive.
Damage: $200-$500.

Cologne is one of my favorite indulgences, though when buying cologne as a gift I would stick to a fragrance I know the gift-getter already likes. If my nose is at all accurate, I smell a lot of Dolce & Gabbana Pour Homme, Burberry Brit for Men, Abercrombie & Fitch Fierce, and Armani Acqua Di Gio when I go out to gay clubs… which is once every leap year, give or take. (Disclaimer: I wouldn’t buy anything from Abercrombie & Fitch for anyone over the age of 18.)
Moolah: $20-$70

Get your mind out of the gutter! These things are great after tense days at the office. And cheap, too!
Pesos: $30

This is a decent hair-removal tool for areas south of the face. It gets the job done, nothing fancy, but I’d only get this for someone you know really wants one, or for a friend who is perpetually complaining about his hair-removal regimen.
Dough: $35

A decent bottle of wine, a gift certificate to a nice restaurant, and tickets afterwards to a movie or a show for your friend and a special guest. What could be more thoughtful?
Grand total: $75+

For the guy who truly has everything, consider making a donation in your friend’s name to a charity he supports. You’ll both feel warm and fuzzy, and you’ll be doing something to make the world a better place.
Cost: Priceless