A Brief Update: Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

Burberry Brief Underwear

I know that you read about a lot serious stuff, like career development and personal finance. Chances are if you read this blog, there’s a decent chance you’re a fairly ambitious person who takes the future very seriously. You’re probably good with money and have your sights set on your next big thing.

But don’t forget to be silly sometimes.

I just received this Burberry underwear in a shipment from Saks.com. It was on sale, so I got 3 pairs at $8.40 each.

They’re kinda ridiculous. I mean, look at the plaid, really. Who in their right mind cares about name brand underwear? How many people will even see it?

It doesn’t matter. Sometimes you just have to do special things for yourself, even if it feels ridiculous. Especially if it feels ridiculous.

Just don’t lose sight of your big goals and you’ll be fine.

So go ahead and do something light-hearted and out-of-the-ordinary today. You don’t even have to spend money.

But you can’t buy underwear and blog about it, because that’s my niche.

Living with My Head in the (Digital) Clouds

As a full-time web worker, I sometimes forget that not everyone geeks out over the latest internet productivity tools.

For instance, many of my non-geek friends don’t really get the point of feed readers, no matter how often I extoll the virtues of RSS. “Rather than checking CNN.com fives times a day,” I say, “Wouldn’t you rather have all the top stories delivered directly to your reader? You’ll never miss an update!” (It turns out no, they wouldn’t. Too much thinking involved. But you should still subscribe to the Guppie Life’s feed, of course!)

iGoogle

The one site I cannot live without is iGoogle, Google’s customizable homepage. I’ve set up mine so that all of my essential web tasks are available with a flick of the mouse:

  • gCal for scheduling work and personal appointments and deadlines
  • Gmail for monitoring personal email (and also for when my coworkers confuse my work email address with my personal address)
  • a Weather forecast widget
  • Google Reader for monitoring industry news and commentary (and a few personal blogs)
  • a Bookmarks widget that stores sites I’d like to be able to access from anywhere in the world
  • Google Docs for collaborating on documents and spreadsheets in real-time with coworkers
  • a Sticky Note widget that serves as a To-Do list and a repository for brief reminders
  • Google Maps for getting around

What’s the point of all this? Couldn’t I just get email through Outlook/Thunderbird/Mail like everyone else? Couldn’t I just use iCal for my itinerary? And use Word and Excel for creating documents and spreadsheets?

It’s true, everything I have on my iGoogle homepage can be replicated using standard-issue software.

One advantage is that consolidating all of these common tasks in one place is an enormous time saver.

But the real beauty of iGoogle (and similar services) is in its accessibility. Anywhere I have an internet connection, I’ve got email, news, weather, calendar, notes, and more— all in one place. No more remembering 20 different URLs, user names and passwords. It’s the ultimate one-stop shop, and it’s called living in the cloud.

As I see it, there are two downsides to cloud-services such as iGoogle. For one, you’re entrusting some huge, faceless corporation with all of your personal data. Scary.

Also, you become way more valuable to identity thieves when you store your entire life under a single internet account. Could you even imagine what a person with malicious intentions could do to with access to your email and schedule? Even scarier.

Of course, there are a lot of other ways to live in the cloud. You’re doing it if you use Facebook to store your digital photo albums, for instance.

For me, the gains in my personal productivity are worth the risk. But what about you? Do you live in the cloud, too?

My Obnoxious Yuppie Savings Goals

It seems that every blogger worth his salt has a debt reduction plan, a budget, or a savings goal.

I’m extremely fortunate that I’m debt free at a stage of my life where many of my cohorts are burdened with student debt. (Thanks mom and dad!)

But that doesn’t mean I don’t watch my cash flow like a hawk. In fact, since graduating college I’ve become hyper-vigilant about my personal finances. It’s not because I’m now working without a parental safety-net— I’ve been in charge of my own money since I was a teenager.

No, no, the reason I have become obsessed with tracking my financial progress is that early on I set my sights on some lofty savings goals.

Max Out My Roth IRA

I’ve already maxed out my 2007 Roth IRA (and it was really easy to set up!), but 2008 is a third of the way over, and I haven’t contributed yet. Gotta get on that.

Deadline: April 15, 2009
Amount: $5,000

Max Out My 401k

I become eligible for my company’s 401k plan in June 2008. My employer matches contributions up to a certain point, but I must be vested for three years in order to keep all of the matched money. While I’m really happy with the new job so far, who knows what will happen in the next three years. Under this plan, I can choose a pre-tax traditional 401k or a post-tax Roth 401k.

Deadline: December 31, 2008
Amount: $2,000

Emergency Fund

I began building an emergency fund before I even moved to the D.C. suburbs for my first job. Right now I’ve got a pretty healthy amount sitting in an online savings account. I could use this money to fully fund my 2008 Roth IRA contribution and still have some padding left over, but for now I want to keep things liquid.

Deadline: Flexible
Amount: An additional $3,000

Hybrid Car Fund

My senior year of high school I paid cash for my current car, a 2000 VW Jetta. (Stick shift and turbo! Woot!) Before that I had a clunker that was a gift from my parents.

I’ve never gone into debt for a car before, and I don’t want to now. The Jetta has <60,000 miles on it because I barely drove in college, so I’m hoping it can last me another year, but it’s beginning to show its age. In the past two years I’ve spent approximately $3,000 in repairs.

silver Toyota PriusFor my next car, I’d like to get a used Toyota Prius or Honda Civic Hybrid. I’m not so concerned with the cost of fuel— I just want to make an environmentally conscious decision. Also, both cars have good ratings with Consumer Reports.

I will also consider cheaper (but fuel sipping) compact cars.

Deadline: Before my current car dies
Amount: Ideally $17,000, but realistically I’ll save as much as possible in order to reduce the amount of the loan

New Computer Fund

Apple iMacMy livelihood is made in the internet industry, and then I blog on my own personal website in my spare time. So yeah, I’m kind of a computer nut.

I’ve been an Apple fan-boy since I bought my PowerBook G4 laptop in October 2005, and I use a Mac Pro at work. I apple-solutely wouldn’t consider anything but another Mac, but the problem is that Apple products are more expensive than comparable PC’s.

As much as I love my PowerBook, it’s showing its age.

I could save money by opting for an iMac desktop instead of a MacBook Pro laptop, but I love the portability of a laptop. (Of course, I could get the desktop and keep my current fossil laptop for when I need the mobility…. decisions, decisions…)

Also, I will consider buying a refurbished machine.

Deadline: Flexible
Amount: $1,400 - $2,200

Plastic Surgery Fund

Chelsea Clinton Plastic SurgeryUpon reading this saving goal, many of you will scoff and promise never to visit this blog again. “How can he say that he’s trying to be frugal when he’s planning one of the most superficial indulgences money can buy? Is he really that shallow?”

I’m not going to make any apologies for wanting plastic surgery. For years I have been thoroughly unsatisfied with a particular part of my face, and I’m not the kind of person who can sit around and ignore problems that have actionable solutions. I’m doing the best I can with my body by going to the gym, but surgery is the only option for my face.

Who knows? Plastic surgery might even be good for my career.

In college, I told myself that I’d get the procedure as soon as I had the money. My mother said she’d pay for septoplasty— an operation to correct a deviated septum— but not cosmetic work. Still, her offer means I don’t have to choose between a legitimate health issue and my self-esteem.

Deadline: At the earliest, six months from now, after I’ve accumulated a sufficient amount of paid vacation
Amount: $5,000 - $15,000 (depending on the surgeon, severity of the issue, etc)

Total: $33,000 - $44,200

Crap, that’s a lot of money.

I Sold My Soul to Penelope Trunk and Drank the Brazen Careerist Kool-Aid

Brazen Careerist Blogging Network

Yup, yours truly is the newest member of the Brazen Careerist blogging network.

And since they list their bloggers alphabetically, it seems I’m first for the time being. Yikes.

Google Talk Just Got Gayer: Chat Me Up

I’ve had a great time these past few weeks getting to know my readers and fellow bloggers through my twitter profile. It’s addictive!

Google Talk LogoIn fact, I’ve had such a good experience with Twitter that I’ve decided to invite you guys to IM me on a Google Talk account. The username is “guppielife” [at gmail dot com]. I don’t know yet how often I’ll be on, but if you see me signed on, say hi!

Young, Gay and … Married?

Heteronormative Gay Relationship New York TimesThe New York Times magazine wrote an article about gay marriage amongst the twenty-something set.

One thing I’ve noticed in my few years as a gay boy is that millennial gays generally seem to want to get married some day, and they’re confident that it’ll be legal in their lifetimes. They want to have kids, a house in the suburbs, and a Golden Retriever. Maybe a Cocker Spaniel.

Gay boomers have their own established culture. In my experience, they don’t want a wedding, and they don’t want to register at Crate & Barrel. Kids aren’t even a consideration (unless from a prior hetero relationship), and oftentimes partnered gay boomers maintain separate residences.

(This is all highly subjective conjecture, based on the few older couples I know personally and what I read in the gay blogosphere. Please feel free to send counter-examples.)

A few older gay guys I know have derided me for wanting a monogamous marriage to a man. They say only, “You’re young and idealistic. You’ll understand when you’re older.” I think the implication is that these men have some sort of sexual arrangement with third parties.

That kind of argument doesn’t fly with me. I might be young, but I know what I want. After coming out, it didn’t even occur to me that I wouldn’t settle down and get married. I can relate to the desire for stability and legal validation expressed by the men from the NYT article.

After all, gay guys of my generation were raised on headstrong Disney heroines who ended up happily ever after with their princes. Why shouldn’t we expect the same for our own lives? Ariel mournfully singing about not fitting in and wanting something more… that was me, only at eight years old I hadn’t quite realized it yet.

Even so, I’m generally freaked by the idea of marriage, gay or straight, before the age of 30. The kids in the NYT article look like Pod People (or Log Cabin Republicans, whichever is worse). They’re too saccharine, and the photos accompanying the article are deliberately evocative of Leave It to Beaver. They look like they’re trying too hard to impress.

Maybe I’m cynical because I’m a child of divorce. Most of my friends growing up had divorced parents. Every member of my family in my parents’ generation has been divorced at least once, and we even have a family pre-nup.

I might be young and idealistic about gay monogamous marriage… but I am so getting a pre-nup.

Gay Dinosaurs, Rawr

In honor of my new trainer saying that I have freakishly strong legs and weak arms, here’s a webcomic about a T-Rex:

T-Rex and Utahraptor

The world needs more gay dinosuars.

Via Dinosaur Comics

Personal Trainer, Take Two

Back in early April, when I was a mere novice about the ways of the gym, I had my first ever session with a personal trainer.

Becky the trainer was decent. She outlined a perfectly acceptable training regimen. She answered the questions I asked, and she was pretty hot, too.

But we didn’t click, which is unusual for me with hot, (presumably) straight girls.

For my next session, I was paired with a dude in his late twenties. At first I was unimpressed. He was shorter than me and very muscular, but from what I could see, lacked definition. A beer guzzling frat boy all grown up.

But this guy, Ryan, surprised the hell out of me. He was everything Becky was not: warm, supportive, funny, motivating. I never thought I’d be the kind of guy who responds to, “Come on guy, it’s ALL MENTAL, push it out, push it out!” But it turns out, I am.

It’s been only six sessions so far, and I can already confidently say that I couldn’t have made the gains I’ve made without his help.

All in all, I consider this gym membership money well spent. And I’m not even buff (yet).

You’ve Made Your Tanning Bed, Now Lie in It

Muscular tanned male torso absI went tanning yesterday. And it felt great.

The Sin

I know tanning is just about the ultimate stupid. It causes cancer and it makes your skin age prematurely… and on top of that, you’re expected to pay for the privilege.

But I love the way it makes me feel. After tanning I feel energized, perhaps euphoric, as if I can take on the world, or at least crank out a few blog posts. And a tan looks damn good on me.

So how do I reconcile my occasional visits to the tanning bed with my identity as an otherwise upstanding, responsible gay civilian? (I think we called this cognitive dissonance in psychology lecture.)

I don’t reconcile the two, not really. I try to rationalize it to others— “Look, I try to watch what I eat, I’m developing new exercise habits, I’ve never so much as smoked a puff of a cigarette, and I have an effin IRA instead of a shiny new MacBook Pro laptop. Let me have this one indulgence!”— but I know melanoma doesn’t care about my Roth or my new personal trainer.

So what’s a shallow image-conscious boy to do?

The Compromise

I do not believe that one can completely ignore one’s own strong, animal desires (otherwise I’d be leading a simpler life as a straight dude, basking in familial and societal approval). Laugh if you want, but the desire to feel good and look sexy to attract mates is an evolutionary instinct. I tan because it’s in my DNA.

Of course, that DNA could be irrevocably altered by too much tanning, so there must be a compromise.

I have a mental agreement with myself: No more than a dozen or so tanning sessions during the course of a year, and I am only allowed to tan during winter and early spring.

Furthermore, being the frugal(ish) guy that I am, I’ve only ever gone to tanning salons when I can get a discount. In college I used my student ID, but bargains are tougher to find now that I’m a full-fledged adult. Many tanning salons try to reel you in with a membership plans frighteningly similar to cell phone plans, including an “activation fee.” (I’m sorry, but how much does it cost to enter a new client into your customer database? What a rip-off.) While unlimited tans per month might work for achieving that ‘Oompa Loompa’ look, it’s a bit much for someone like me who just wants to avoid being a pasty white kid.

Instead, I opt for the package deals— last month I did 5 sessions in the “introductory” beds for $15, which I spread out over the course of a few weeks to make my tan last as long as possible.

So now that you know all about some of my guilty pleasures, how about sharing some of your own? Feel free to berate me for being an idiot. I deserve it.

I, Too, Want to Crack Wise with Some Boss Lesbians

Achewood Funny Lesbians

It’s true. Lesbians are funnier than regular people.

Via Achewood